Versatile actress Badhon on acting, parenting and feminism

Ramisa Haque bonds with renowned actress Azmeri Haque Badhon and talks about her thoughts on parenting, acting and the understanding of feminism

What’s the best thing you’ve got going on in your life at the moment?

Unlearning the habit of being self-sacrificing and realising that loving someone starts with myself is the best thing I’ve got going on right now at 37.

With the pandemic going on if you could be anywhere in the world right this very moment, where would you be?

I haven’t travelled much, but I’d love to revisit the Niagara Falls. It’s beautiful, sure, but, more than that, you’ll also feel an unwavering depth of power in the way the waterfalls over the crest. I visited with my daughter, and no one recognised us there; we jumped and plunged into the waters to our hearts’ content!

What are some of your guilty pleasures?

I’m addicted to sugar and am a complete dessert-lover! I binge-eat chocolates, laddus and custard but I feel terribly guilty right after!

If you could start a charity, what would it be for?

I would aim to make a difference for underprivileged children in Bangladesh. It’s sad to see one group of people enjoying all the privileges of life while another group suffers even to fulfil basic wants and necessities like food, healthcare and shelter.

As an actress, what was your first big break in the Bangladeshi film industry?

I never learned acting or performed on stage before, but I loved Humayun Ahmed’s books. In 2007, I was fortunate enough to work with him when one of his books was made into a movie. That time spent working with him was brilliant; it was a big turning point for me, as an actor.

What drove you into pursuing such a creative option for a career?

Starting, I’d always been sincere but was never passionate about acting. This was mainly due to the negative and stereotypical opinion of women in media that exists in our society. The plan was to graduate and finally settle down to start a family. But I have struggled a lot in life since then, and it’s only now that I see that I can harness all my emotional turmoil through acting. Portraying a character onscreen is an inspiring experience, and I feel I can inspire others around me in the process. And, so, at 34, I decided that I want to be a serious actor.

What is the best and the worst thing about having a career in Dhallywood?

Film has a significant impact on society. It can make the audience think about values and norms and even challenge them if these beliefs are doing more harm than good. Film can also be a medium of creativity and change. But it also has the power to scratch at open wounds if we’re not careful with how we depict real-life issues. We may end up offending or hurting someone with disrespectful or incomplete storylines and portrayals.

To what extent has the face of Bengali cinema changed over the years?

Bengali media, as a whole, is a powerful tool. It has begun to change, but we have a long way to go. I want to see raw female protagonists in Bengali films. I want movies to depict grey shades of women and show realism onscreen.

Tell me about a time when you experienced conflict and how you resolved it.

For much of my life, I tried to fulfil everyone’s expectations and model myself after society’s definition of an ‘idealistic woman.’ But my divorce was a turning point in my life. Winning my daughter’s guardianship in the court of law meant everything to me, and that’s when I finally learned how to live life on my own terms rather than sacrifice my interests and desires in the duty of others.

Would you encourage young adults to aspire for an acting career in Bangladeshi cinema, especially young girls?

Definitely, if that’s what they want to do! When you have to tell your daughter that it may be unsafe for her to pursue a particular profession, that’s when you know you have a problem. It is the responsibility of the society and nation as a whole to provide all facilities needed for a healthy and happy life to both genders.

How would you describe ‘feminism?’

The idea of ‘feminism’ looks to ensure social, financial and political security for women. ‘Feminism’ points its fingers at an imbalanced society. We stand for equal rights and freedom for both men and women, rather than just vilifying men.

Is being a feminist a good or a bad thing in today’s society?

More than a feminist, being a woman is hard enough in society. We live in a patriarchal society where men seek to dominate and control women. We need to rise above these ancient beliefs and practices.

Are you a very opinionated person?

Now, yes! But the trick here is to know that our opinions and thoughts are supposed to develop us. Being opinionated is excellent, but we must understand what we are talking about. We may not always be right, and stating opinions freely can end up hurting another person’s sentiments. We shouldn’t be so strongly opinionated in our own beliefs that we reject another person’s point of view entirely. People disagree, and that’s fine.

Being a feminist, how would you comment on the erupting and controversial debate on rape that has overtaken social media and society in the past month?

I always tried to maintain society’s idea of ‘goodness’ despite the fact that whatever negatively stereotyped perception exists out there about females in the media industry. I was family-oriented, dressed conservatively and spoke out as little as possible to avoid controversy. But a person’s clothes and profession can never define if they are good or bad people. I realised this the hard way, during the custody battle of my daughter after my divorce. I learned that the opposing lawyer could challenge my credibility as a morally sound guardian and manipulate arguments on character evidence only from the fact that I work as an actress to claim custody of my daughter. Apparently, it’s a common strategy adopted in courtrooms in such situations.

So, to anyone who thinks that women have laws advocating for them, are speaking ignorantly. They don’t know the treatment she has to go through in order to seek legal help, the looks she gets in the police station or the kinds of questions asked at her in the courthouse. The whole ordeal is as bad as, if not worse, than the crime committed in the first place.

How do you think women can harness the power they have inside them?

Women have to tarnish the unrealistic image upheld in the society of ‘the ideal woman’ and redefine societal expectations. Women need to taste freedom and claim their rights for their own. A woman who understands her authority is a woman who can change the world.

Is it easy or difficult to speak out/take a stand against someone/something being a celebrity of your stature?

It’s very difficult; one of the reasons why is the possibility of losing followers on social media. But I speak my mind regardless of hoping to create my own niche of followers who share the same ideas as me even if that means just having a handful of fans.

How important is family to you?

One of my biggest wins in life is about my daughter, being granted her sole custodianship and guardianship. I can’t tell you how joyous and empowered I feel calling myself her legal guardian. I take care of her with my family’s help, and it’s great having their support.

What advice would you give your daughter?

A piece of advice I gave her was about patriotism. She told me once that she wants to move to Canada upon her father’s manipulation, saying it is a much cleaner and more beautiful place to live in. But I reminded her that if the streets of Bangladesh look dirty, then it’s our job, as responsible citizens of the nation, to clean them, or else, who will?

What are some of the challenges you have faced in raising a daughter as a single parent?

Parenting, in itself, isn’t easy. But I was up to all the challenges that came my way simply because I was ready for it. I wanted to become a mother, but, as a single parent, I, first had to figure out my career and overcome my struggles.

Are the challenges especially hard being in this particular line of work?

It’s a big responsibility to a parent to child, and things were difficult for me being an actor. I still remember taking my daughter to sets during shoots for a year just so I could breast-feed her. I’ve struggled quite a lot in life; now, I just hope to raise her well.