Opening Night

*Tarannum Zaman gives you tips on how to get it right on your wedding night

Congratulations! You did it! You got hitched. You perspired through all the photo sessions. You kept your calm while strangers pinched your cheeks after feeding you steaming morsels of goat-flavored rice. The hard part is over. It’s your wedding night — let the games begin!
The bedroom resembles a flower garden, the lights have been dimmed to set the mood, nothing can go wrong, right? Wrong!Whether it’s your first or third time, or even if you’ve lost count, we’ve got you covered. Let’s get it on!

Under Pressure
You and your boo are finally alone. The fairy lights twinkle, there are candles burning, you’ve got the slow jams playing — basically, the heat is on. You’re probably going to feel a bit nervous, but that’s just natural. Just don’t let the pressure get you so worked up to the point where you find yourself unable to er…function
No one is judging you. (well maybe just a little) Take your time. Talk to each other, enjoy every moment. You aren’t expected to perform like one of the Fabio clones plastered on the covers of old-school romance novels. You’d be shocked at how many couples pass out the moment they hit the sheets because, you know, weddings are exhausting
This is the first night of the rest of your lives together. (Or a couple of good years at least)
The key is to relax and get comfortable and just let things flow…

Don’t be that guy
Of course, you want your wedding night to be special. Make it so. However, under no circumstance should you try to re-enact several scenes from your favorite adult films. Some positions are better off left to professionals. Stick with what works for both of you. You have plenty of time to indulge in all your 50 Shades of Gray fantasies with your boo and engage in the bedroom acrobatics of your choice.

Stay safe
Romance is in the air and the heady scent of the rose petals scattered around every inch of your room gets your motor running. Wait! Please don’t decide to throw all forms of contraceptives out the window just because you’ve made your union legal. It’s imperative that you have a little chat about when you want to add another member to an equation. While rosy-cheeked bundles of joy are always a plus, it’s hard to tote one along with you while you’re trying to make your way through Greece on your first anniversary. Meanwhile, there is no harm in playing it safe! No glove, no love!

Love yourself
Calm down! We’re not talking about you choking the chicken, which is great, but that’s another story. While there are numerous wedding packages at the countless beauty salons in Dhaka which promise to transform you into Rihanna and Chris Helmsworth overnight, please don’t forget to ask your beauty technician to travel further south and assist you in the maintenance of your goods. It’s a jungle out there, but it sure doesn’t need to be. We’re looking at you, boys. You don’t need to present yourself as a newborn baby, but trim it down, for the sake of everything that is good. Your partner will appreciate it, and you will reap the benefits.

Make your wedding night one to remember, no matter where it takes you. Stay calm, stay safe and remember, a few mistakes along the way just make your future stories more interesting.