Depression is a common mental disorder and according to WHO, more than 300 million people suffer from this disease globally. Yet it is a common stigma and often considered a sign of weakness. The contributing factors range from fluctuating hormonal levels to complex social, psychological and biological factors. It sometimes stems down from deeply embedded issues due to adverse life events. The burden of depression is on the rise worldwide and it may not always be easy to speak to someone suffering from it. Below is a list of 10 things you should NOT say to someone experiencing depression and what you should say instead.
Don’t say,
Stop being selfish
Why can’t you deal with your problems on your own? Grow up!
Instead say,
We will be okay
You are not alone in this. I am here for you. We will get through this together.
Don’t say
Are you PMS-ing?
Is it that time of the month again? Do you need a hot water bag and a bar of candy?
Instead say,
I care about you
You might be going through an emotional roller coaster right now but I am only a phone call away.
Don’t say,
Get a hobby
You are just acting out because you are bored. Learn how to play the piano or something.
Instead say,
There is hope
There is a lot of goodness in your heart and in this world. I will hold your hand while you find your happy place.
Don’t say,
Get some fresh air
A change in ambience and a hot cup of tea can fix how you are feeling. Trust me.
Instead say,
I am here
Even if it’s just to go shopping I will go with you and you can’t push me away.
Don’t say,
Happiness is a choice
You can control your mind into feeling the way you want it to. It is just a matter of time and practice.
Instead say,
You can survive this
Your problems are not small; I want you to know I understand this and believe you will be able to get past them.
Don’t say,
Sleep it off
You are probably just exhausted. Why don’t you take a day off and recharge your batteries?
Instead say,
Take your time
You don’t have to rush into feeling better. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
Don’t say,
Nobody said life was fair
Stop whining like a spoilt kid. The world doesn’t owe you anything.
Instead say,
You are important
Your existence matters and I will be here to remind you that every time you forget.
Don’t say,
I know how you feel
I have been depressed for a month too. It passes. Don’t worry about it.
Instead say,
You are not crazy or weak
I may not be able to fully comprehend how to feel but I know we can walk through this together
Don’t say,
Oh you poor thing!
You are so fragile, I feel so sorry for you.
Instead
It will be okay, have faith
I know you are going through a tough time. I want you to know I am here if you need me.
Don’t say,
Count your blessings
You are privileged, think about all the kids starving in Africa. Be thankful.
Instead say,
No one blames you for feeling this way
I understand that you can’t control how you feel. But you have come this far and that deserves a high five. Take one day at a time and this too shall pass.