Social conditioning often teaches us that home, school, and offices safeguard us from bullying. Yet, many of us end up ridiculed in these very places— all in the name of tradition, culture, humour and discipline. Addressing the issue, sector specialists highlight efforts that can minimize these practices across institutions.
The lines between abuse and love are often blurred in many deshi households. “In our society, we refrain from openly praising anyone. Which is why many parents fail to acknowledge positive qualities in their children. This is also a reflection of their own upbringing. In fact, many parents reckon they ‘turned out fine’ despite being disciplined through verbal bullying or physical abuse,” explains Laila Akter, Psychological Counsellor, PHWC.
Types of Bullying at Home (factbox)
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- Name-calling
- Body-shaming
- Dismissing opinions /academic intelligence
- Physically hitting children
- Public humiliation- in front of guests or extended family
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When bullied throughout childhood, children withdraw from sharing their emotions with parents, siblings, and even cousins. They also question their self-worth and also struggle to articulate their feelings — ultimately developing issues like depression, social anxiety which ends up affecting their performance in studies.
Laila recommends that positive parenting, guided by a professional can result in better outcomes. “If children are raised with choices and constructive feedback as opposed to directive, fear-based approaches, it gives them more agency to choose right from wrong.” Many parents believe that just sitting next to their children should suffice as “spending quality time.” The counsellor however, urges parents to engage children in age-appropriate communication to emotionally connect with them — without resorting to criticisms.
Effective Communication (Factbox)
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- 20-30 minutes of sharing daily highlights
- Play-based bonding: puzzles/games
- Creative outlet: drawing
- Asking about their feelings
- Teaching siblings to be respectful and helpful towards each other
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“Quality time means disengaging from phone, TV and laptop, and focusing solely on their children. Asking them about their day makes them feel seen and heard, which reassures them that their parents and siblings are interested to know about them, she says”
Beyond Textbook Education
Madiha Murshed, Managing Director of Ascent Group, Head of Aurora International School shares that trust and respect lies at the core of their operations — which is evident in their pedagogical training.
“Our Professional Development Days (PDDs) which are conducted at the beginning of every term, consist of various workshops, including sessions facilitated by our mental health counsellor,” she says. Aurora also collaborates with education consultants from around the world to further strengthen their resource capacity.
Madiha candidly shares, “Although rare, in the past there have been instances where teachers have conducted inappropriately with students. Hence, the senior leadership and management teams are often present in classrooms to assess their performance. Sometimes I would also listen-in on the discussions from outside the classroom, so I’m able to pick up on any behaviour or conduct that may be problematic.”
Additionally, the management requires parents and students to fill out surveys annually to help them assess teacher’s performance. Parents are also sensitised on bullying, through orientations held at the beginning of the year and the school regularly emails articles to parents on various issues related to bullying.
Aurora’s non-academic curriculum, “Learning for Life” teaches children the impacts of bullying, how to deal with it or become an upstander to improve their peer relationships. They also have Homeroom Period and Morning Meetings which discuss impacts of bullying, teach conflict resolution and emotional navigation.
Prevention and Awareness Measures (Factbox)
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- Digital media and technology literacy
- Meetings with mental health counsellor
- Peer relationship education
- English and Bangla books on bullying
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But, if bullying escalates despite their best efforts, all parties are due for a thorough investigation. “Depending on the severity and frequency of the issue, parents are called in for discussion with our management team and mental health counsellor,” explains Madiha. Verbal bullying cases are assessed from evaluating prior behaviours and patterns. Physical bullying is usually documented through CCTV footage in public spaces” she shares.
Bullying Interventions at Aurora (Factbox)
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- Discussion with parents and peer groups
- Counselling for victim and accused
- Group conflict management sessions
- Verbal or Written Apologies
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Madiha establishes that Aurora’s small community base, luckily, has not led to a situation where bullying has escalated to the point of suspension or expulsion of staff, thanks to their robust HR practices. For all bullying cases — a verbal or written apology is usually standard protocol.
However, in the case of teachers bullying students — the school’s HR disciplinary policy enables the School Head to issue a warning letter against the teacher which goes into their records.
There are other actions that can be taken in such cases. Furthermore, if accused teachers continue to bully students, they will be asked to leave.
Accountability Across Hierarchies
Muhid Bhuiya, HR Manager at an MNC in Bangladesh, observes that bullying goes unnoticed which is why many employees misuse their authority and/or seniority to mistreat colleagues. “I cannot pass comments about someone’s appearance, skin tone, scold them harshly, or inquire about their hometown based on my hierarchy. Hence, awareness is important to make employees understand what falls under the category of bullying,” he says.
Rewriting the Narrative
Seniority doesn’t excuse bullying behaviour
HR reassures victims through confidentiality
Code of conduct applies for employees at all levels
Muhid shares that at MNCs there are detailed codes of conduct which outline behaviours that are acceptable and unacceptable in workplaces; gender sensitive communication as well as
email etiquettes. Employees have to sign these codes as a part of their onboarding process and participate in a detailed orientation. “We outline what the conduct should be between seniors, juniors and peer groups when they are working collaboratively. As a part of awareness and prevention, our company facilitates refresher training sessions once every six months. This enables the HR department to revisit existing codes of conduct. We have another practice every month, known as ‘town hall’. It gives employees the platform to voice their opinions about culture and people oriented issues,” he shares.
Responsibility and accountability are of utmost importance, says the HR Manager. Muhid highlights that someone’s high performance does not give them a free pass to abuse power. “There is a global standard they need to maintain in terms of decency and decorum in the workplace. The onus is on employees of all levels to uphold the values of their organisation,” he explains.
Muhid observes that victims of bullying are often hesitant to share their experiences. “We try to provide neutrality, full support, confidentiality and psychological safety. Because it is the HR’s responsibility to ensure that employees are seen and heard. After all, an organisation will not function without its staff. We also speak to co-workers, and also remain alert if the accused is trying to intimidate the victim or not,” he confirms.
The HR manager concludes that consequences of workplace bullying are often dependent on the seriousness of the case. “If the accused is sitting one-on-one with the HR department, and is getting better through counselling, then the situation is subject to change. But if the situation escalates despite HR intervention, then a warning might be issued against the abuser. And if it spirals out of hand, then we may resort to serious disciplinary action against the employees. So this is all dependent on impact, frequency and severity. He ends on the note that in MNCs, HR’s decisions cannot be swayed by local actors. Therefore, when it comes to bullying- no means no- for employees at all levels. ”