We are blessed to be around many great mothers. For this year’s Mother’s Day, we asked Salma Adil to answer questions about her experience with motherhood. All these mothers are doing a great job by teaching their kids what they have learned from their own lives and their own mothers. They are all making a difference by teaching the next generation what is important and how to be a better person. Mothers come from different backgrounds, ages, and places but one thing all have in common is that they love their child(ren) and want the best for them.
CFO, Top Of Mind
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 26 when I first became a mother.
Did you always want to be a parent?
Yes. I always wanted to be a mother but after completing a certain year of my marriage.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
I have so many, but my fondest would be of my mother sewing Nakshi Kantha while I drew the sketches of the designs. My mother sewed around 40 infant sized nakshi kanthas for my elder daughter Faiza. As a memento, Faiza took a piece of her childhood Katha with her when she was leaving abroad for her studies.
Are you raising your children how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I have instilled the same values in my children that I grew up with but no I’m not raising them the same way as I was raised. Today the times are different. What worked for us will not work for our children now as they get more exposure to the world around them and have access to information. Every child is different and needs to be nurtured depending on what they need. I try to communicate more, and I am more expressive in showing emotion unlike how our parents were back in the days. I believe we should tell our children how much we love them because nothing in this world grows without love and
nurturing.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I disciplined my children very differently than how I was disciplined. In their case, I apply different soft techniques and I strongly emphasis on setting boundaries. I raised my children to voice their opinions and respectfully ask questions when they disagree with us. I believe as parents we owe our kids explanations and should not expect them to mindlessly follow whatever we adults throw at them.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
To have empathy, patience and be a good listener.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
It’s extremely crucial for a mother to balance between motherhood and self-care. Self-care can have many forms; it can range from sitting by the window enjoying a cup of tea in monsoon to pursuing your dreams and passions. A happy and empowered mother will raise healthy kids and be able to provide them with a loving a nurturing home. I always wanted to work for the welfare of people and therefore in the midst of all my motherhood duties, I took the time out to found Salma Adil Foundation (SAF) and SafeHands that takes a stand against bullying and violence in school.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
When a child is born a mother is also born. A woman becomes a different person overnight right after giving birth. Motherhood is a gift from nature but also a choice. My advice to all the new moms would be to take care of themselves and to enjoy every moment of their motherhood journey. Tell your child you love them, hug them. A child who is loved and knows they are loved, grows up to be a confident individual.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
I have a lot of favorite foods but sadly I don’t enjoy my own cooked food. Thankfully, my children are there for me and they always try to cook my favorite foods for me. I am a lucky and proud mother!
Was there anything you promised yourself you wouldn’t do as a mother?
Well one of the biggest promises I made myself is that I will not embarrass or shame my children publicly. I will never belittle them for who they are and what they grow up to be in the future.
If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Mom-guilt is a real thing that persists in our society especially in working mothers. If I could redo my whole motherhood journey, I would spend more quality time with my children watch them grow every day.
What advice do you have for working moms?
Every day designate at a minimum an undivided hour for your children. It is impossible for working mothers to spend every hour of the day with their kids. Therefore, put special emphasis in making yourself available emotionally for your children. Communicate how your day was and ask them how their day went.
As a woman in a leadership position, what do you suggest companies must do in order to make it easier for working mothers?
Every pregnancy is different. Therefore, I would make the rules more flexible in order to accommodate the soon-to-mothers. Additionally, I would ensure an easy and hassle-free maternity leave and allow time to new moms to get into their work mindsets after their delivery.
