Sazia Sharmin’s commentary on women travelling by themselves
If you are a woman, try this: tell your family and friends that you want to be Prime Minister, or tell them you want to climb Mount Everest. Tell them just about anything you want to do. You’re bound to get mostly encouraging reactions. “Go ahead,” they’ll say. It’s already been done. No reason why you can’t if you put your mind to it. But what if you told them you want to travel alone? Not just taking a plane or a bus to somewhere, but taking a whole trip by yourself. This time, even the most open-minded ones among them would frown a little bit. They’d worry about your safety more than anything else. Some would think you have nobody to go with. Others would wonder if everything is alright with you.
It’s ironic that while we know it’s psychologically important to be comfortable being alone, we associate alone with lonely without much thought. For women; gender stereotypes, domestic responsibilities and safety concerns make the notion of them travelling alone even more problematic. History documents the voyages of many men on their great travels. On the other hand, Jeanne Baret, the first woman to circumvent the world could only do it disguised as a man. So what are the options for you here today?
Although women travelling by themselves is an unusual trend, women-only group trips have caught on. Professional women are putting together mini breaks outside the city and country with their friends and colleagues. University students are taking women’s-only group excursions. The burgeoning domestic tourism business sector is great news for women. The modern hotels and resorts in major tourist destinations like Cox’s Bazaar have gone a long way to minimise concerns over safety. Outside the country, Maldives, Nepal, and Thailand are popular, safe, and enjoyable choices.
To get a sense of what it’s like for women from other parts of the world travelling in Bangladesh, I asked several expats about their experience. They all agreed that knowing some Bangla and dressing conservatively in the local fashion was helpful.
Rosy S. said, “There have been unpleasant and overcrowded moments but people are kind and helpful, same with local buses, boats, trains. Never had much of a problem other than having to nudge some guys who ‘fell asleep’ on my shoulder.” Kathy F. was advised by a local friend to buy two seats on the bus for comfort. She noticed that “it helps to seem confident even if you are not feeling that way; less people will pester or take advantage of the situation.”
I also spoke to Bangladeshi women who have travelled alone or in groups. For Soha N. travelling solo began for business purposes and she was hooked. She says, “It’s wonderful to have your loved ones near you. But to be truly in the company of yourself has a meditative and rejuvenating effect on me. When I travel on my own, it’s completely different from when I take a vacation with my husband. “Other women who have travelled in a female-only group told me that common interests and the break from constant negotiations with significant others make it a truly relaxing experience. I asked them if they felt different and if they received extra attention from men at their destination. “Not really,” they said. “If anything, often hotel staff members were extra helpful and courteous.” Did men hit on them more? To this, Tassia H. boldly said, “That happens to me whether or not I am with other men or women.”
That’s the thing about women travelling alone. It’s risky, but that’s because the world can be a scary place for anyone anywhere. If you go on a trip alone and have a negative experience, you are bound to be told, “You should have never ventured alone.” But the fact is, it probably didn’t have much to do with your decision to travel alone. Terrible things happen to the best of us in the security of our own home. Since we are speaking of women, let’s not forget the uncomfortable fact that most assault on women comes from their nearest and dearest people – not strangers in unknown places.
So go ahead, take that trip you have always wanted to. You really can just pack your bags and go spend a weekend all by yourself. The ground rules for travel remain the same whether it is men or women or a mixed group. However, there are some extra precautions women can take, which we have listed for you. With good planning and preparation, women can, are, and will be travelling solo.
Safety Tips for Women Travelling Alone
- Do your research before you leave. Know what to expect. Book ahead as much as possible.
- Pay a little extra for safety and comfort. Choose a central hotel or guesthouse in a well-lit area of the town, with a 24-hour front desk.
- Always ask to see the room before you accept it. Check if the doors and windows can be locked. Are there any holes on the door or walls? Are there fire escape routes? Don’t stay anywhere unless you are confident and comfortable.
- Inform family and friends of your whereabouts so that they may be aware if something goes amiss. Leave a trail. Inform hotel staff of your plans so that they know when to expect you back or leave a note in your room.
- Carry a rubber doorstop to wedge from the inside of your room at night.
- Carry a safety whistle, much more effective than screaming “Help” if the need should arise.
- Be careful about what you drink and where. If you are on business, keep meetings strictly professional.
- I know that “The way we dress does not mean yes”, but for travel, dressing conservatively is the way to go.
- Make new friends, but try not to give out too much information. It’s wise to stay purposefully vague about where you will be staying and where you are headed next.
- Be respectful towards local people and their culture. This applies even if you are travelling within the country.
- Be assertive about your decisions to discourage unwanted attention.
- Take common sense measures that apply to everyone on the road, men or women. Carry copies of your documents and cards. Keep a hard copy of emergency contact info in case you lose your phone or run out of charge.