Slow and steady wins the race: The importance of foreplay

“Wham bam thank you, ma’am!” A commonplace occurrence these days, when lovemaking has taken a sidestep to quickies. Point to be noted is that the moment sex starts becoming as mundane as brushing your teeth, that is when you should pull the brakes and cut corners.

In this fast-paced world, we are used to rushing everything. Want the clothes washed and dried? Get it dry-cleaned. The photocopier may only be walking distance, but you still want to take a rickshaw. We always find quick solutions to lose weight, to get better skin, and now even to have better sex. But how do we achieve that in the age of information overload? To ensure really intense lovemaking for hours on end, you need to slow things down. Racing, running and skipping through each day without a pause makes Jack or Jill a dull boy or girl. In turn, much duller in bed!

Love is not a race so a little ‘hands-on’ action before getting you on will take you a long way

Take it slow

So when everything else in your life is done running against the clock, it naturally translates into the bedroom. We want to get right into it without going through the motions. It’s as if we have an innate ‘SKIP’ button which fizzes through the soft caresses, the kisses on the neck, and the warm breathing on the skin. Flirting is a form of foreplay too. Leave them a playful text that will make them smile in the middle of a work meeting so they can rush back home to you.

Enjoy the journey

When you are on a road trip, don’t plug your earphones in and stare at your phone. Enjoy the lakes, trees and the beautiful scenery around you so that when you finally reach your destination. It will have been worth the while. Coming back to the bedroom, shower yourself with some lazy pampering. Take a long bath; lather yourself with lotion or even ask your partner to do the honours. Dress up (or dress down) for the occasion. So even before your better-half shows up to your doorstep, the lights are already dimmed, and the music has set the tone for what’s to come.

Sweet treats and chocolates can serve as an aphrodisiac

Foreplay is forever

Yes, even when you are rocking the sack, be conscious of how your partner is responding to you. If there is a steady stream of merry-making sounds, then you are probably doing something right. You can slow down and speed up and change the motions as you go, so they don’t know what to expect. Don’t do it only to reach the climax, do it because it makes you both feel amazing.

And lastly, Talk

Seriously, if you like to be touched a certain way or try a crazy acrobatic pose, let your partner know. Don’t worry about their reaction. You never know, they may be more than willing to accommodate your desires with a little twist of their own. Married life isn’t any chapter from the X-Men comics: don’t expect your beau to be Professor X and read your mind. If you desire something, we suggest you grab it by the horn and own it!


Natasha Rahman

Natasha Rahman is the Assistant Editor of ICE Today. She enjoys the little pleasures of life, such as food and aerobics.